31 days and some odd hours left of this mental and physical breaking down pain. I'm to the point now where I'm so scared that my body is wearing down so much that all the only energy I'm going to have left is going to go towards labor and 2 days is not enough to recover to come home and take care of a baby a newborn all by myself like I really hope all he does is sleep eat and poop because it's going to take me a minute to get back to normal especially now since I know like as soon as the baby comes out your not your automatic self yet your hormones are still f***** up and that's one of the biggest things that have messed with me mentally and now I'm so worn down mentally and physically so I'm just going to pray every night that he gets here healthy and safely as fast as he can and that God gives me the strength to recover as fast as I can