NO JUDGMENT! Does having a baby make relationship worse?

Question

This is very hard for me to ask but here goes. I know everyone says having a child is the best thing they ever did, but do you ever feel like you want your old life back? 
My husband and I have finally come to the agreement that we want to have a baby. However the creeping thought is always in the back of my mind, will I regret it?
My lifestyle is awesome right now. My husband gets me whatever I want. I have a great career, our sex life is banging. 
I am sure that I will love any little baby we have but I just have the nagging sensation that life will never be this good for me again. I must sound terribly selfish and to be quite honest I am selfish. I love to take naps, and long bubble baths and spend hours at the salon. But I know these seemingly small luxuries won't last forever. I don't want to wait too long to have a little munchkin. But I am trying to savor right now as long as possible. 
Please tell me I am not alone in these thoughts.

Answer

I believe a baby enhances your relationship. So if you have an unhealthy relationship, a baby might exacerbate your issues. If you have a strong, loving relationship, adding a baby will bring even more love and make the relationship more complete. That's not to say there won't be hard times or times when you drive each other crazy of course. Sleep deprivation can cause craziness for anyone

Answer

Life will change (mom of 3 in very happy relationship). Your marriage will change. Your wants and needs will change. Luxuries for you won't seem so important. None of this is a bad thing, but your life won't be the same. Your priorities will be completely different. BUT if you have a great spouse your relationship will change, but you will find new ways to fall in love with him over and over again as a Father.

I'm a firm believe that not everyone should have kids. If you think you would be happy never having kids, then don't. But being sacred about parenting is normal. Right before birthing each of my kids I went through mini panic mode wondering if could do it. I can. You can too. Being afraid just means you care and you'll be a better parent for it.

Good luck

Answer

A baby doesn't ruin a relationship. It changes it. A baby does require a lot of sacrifice on your part. You have to decide if you are really ready to have a baby. The lifestyle you have now, you won't really be able to continue as much as you like. But a baby brings a lot of joy with it and really does make those sacrifices worth it.

Answer

1st baby is 3yrs old & 35 weeks pregnant w/#2 and never once have I wished for my "old life" back. My husband & I had a rocky relationship before having kids & got counseling from our church and turned our relationship around. So when we ended up pregnant we were strong and still have an amazing relationship.

My husband is 100% involved and it has been an amazing experience

Answer

I think babies enhance relationships. If your relationship is rocky, it gets worse and if your relationship is good, it gets great. Obviously it's new water you're trudging through so there are hurdles and challenges you'll face alone and as a couple but you sound like you're in a great place to have a baby! 
&You don't sound selfish. There is tons of sacrifice involved with children. I spend every now and then reminiscing on when I used to spend a day shopping for just me, when I could make it through a meal without picking a sippy cup off the floor, spending hours reading, sleeping in, napping whenever. I do miss those things and I miss the freedom. But the love and joy that my daughter and my son on the way bring me so outshine it that it's petty to me. Early on I think it's harder but the further you get into being a parent the more things settle and you remember to not forget yourself. Just make a game plan with hubby and family before hand, you get one day a month no matter what to go have an all you day, to do what you want, to spoil yourself. You get one weekend every three months to do some sort of stay cation for you and hubby to sleep in, have sex, reconnect as just a couple. Whatever suits your lifestyle and schedule. Just remember that becoming a mother doesn't mean you have to stop being yourself, you just take on another new role. You don't have to let go of yourself, just find a balance!

NO JUDGMENT! Does having a baby make relationship worse?

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