I have been in this kinda bumpy relation ship for a while now.... since November last year I started dating the father of my child. We got pregnant in December around my birthday but sadly miscarried.... I was completely empty after that and feeling horrible. January I bleed from the miscarry like a normal period and I had doctors confirm it was a miscarry. In febuary I had once cycle and got pregnant we weren't trying. In the begging of febuary his brother passed away.... it was rough losing a baby and than losing his brother. We weren't being safe. I didn't keep track og my cycles because I was told it would take 3 cycles for us to even consider getting pregnant again. I was caught up in his brother passing away running around taking care of everyone that when I got my period in febuary 13 to febuary 16 of 19 idk the exact dates I didn't think much I was at there house for 2 months stright taking care of everyone helping with arrangements.... anyways on March 10 I found out I was pregnant 9 days before my period. He didn't have the reaction I thought he would. He looked at the test hugged me complete blank look and walked away. We verly talked about it for a good few months. He is the man I love with all my heart but when I keep getting lied it it hurts. He lied to me more than once in our relationship. He's a liar. He lies about drinking, going out with his friends, smoking which I hate, he told me he quit smoking I was so proud yet he didn't and was doing it behind My back. He's lied to me so much for months. He lied to me about stop talking to his ex for the first 3 months of our relationship. Which adventally he stopped. Now I'm 26 weeks pregnant and found ashes on our bathroom counter from god knows what.... he used to do drugs a year ago. But I don't know if he does anymore I don't trust him. I just can't he has promised me so much but at this point I'm having a hard time beliving anything that comes out of his mouth. He drinks, smokes, doesn't do chores, doesn't pay rent, doesn't buy food, gets upset when he has to pay for something. I don't understand since his brother died he's not the same. He's lazy, liar, mean ( Last night we were showering together and I had soap in my hair I was just about to wash it out under the shower head when he tilted the shower head so it was practically drowning me in water and soap for a good minute. I was trying to scream but he didn't seem to care it was so crowded in there that I couldn't move and than when he finally relized he tried to act innocent and said oh I didn't mean to but deep down I know he did. I didn't want him touching me or looking at me....I got out of the shower and cried to my self) he pushes my temper till I turn into this monster and he thinks it's funny to stress me out so bad I break down. This isn't who I am. I am a sweet caring loving girlfriend but he doesn't seem to care. I don't know what to do anymore. Can someone please give me some advice. I love him so much and I can't seem to convince my self to leave him I keep making excuses for him. He lives in my house too.

Edit:

I have been helping him about his brother for months I don't expect him to get over it but he can't keep living the way he is its self destructive.... I try helping but he seems to hurt me every time I do. I got us to go to a therapist for a food 3 months after his brother I payed for it.... it's hard.... I feel like I'm 100 precent alone in the relationship and it's getting kinda abusive.... and hurtful. He calls me a bitch all the time when I'm being sweet and kind and taking care of him. He tried sofficiating me in the water of the shower, he's hit me once or maybe a few times.... I tried helping him but I'm feeling so neglected and abused stressed out. Tired.... he's not showing any kind of commitment.... it's exhusting I'm already high risk as is well pregnant but running around cleaning up his messes 24/7 working a full time job, always on my feet, cooking cleaning, working, running around paying bills, etx. It drives me up the wall exhusted to the point where I feel like I'm going to fall over with exhustion.