I don't know if it's the hormones, the extreme discomfort  or lack of sleep. But today I lost it and told my husband I'm not ready to be a mom. Then I said I didn't want to breast feed because the idea of being the only one to care for the baby for the first 3 months isn't right. After all the pain and misery I've been through, it just doesn't seem fair that I'll have to be the one to continue not sleeping through the night to feed the baby. I'll be at home all day with him alone without any help from anyone. I don't think I'm going to be able to handle this.