When your sister can't have kids

Question

I'm pregnant with my second child and have a sister two years older than me that is not able to have children (though has adopted two young kids).

She tends to get upset when it comes to the physical side of me being pregnant. An example is when I asked if someone would carry my two year old for me she got mad and told me to get over myself and I can carry him myself. Again today I was sitting with my legs wide and she got upset and I said I have a belly between my legs and it's really hard and she got upset and said she is fat and had a belly and to get over myself.

I sense that maybe the hostility over my physical limitations has something to do with her inability to be pregnant. I'm not sure what to do.

Answer

Your sister sounds extra peanut butter and JELLY! There is nothing you can say or do to help her feel any better about not producing kids unles you can give he that ability. I don't think you're rubbing your pregnancy in her face at all I think she's just really bothered and thinks that you should be lucky to have all the symptoms and pains considering she can't go through it. It's almost like when you say anything about your pregnancy not being so beautiful and somebody who can't have kids or have had miscarriage gets upset. I'd ignore her. She really can't be mad at you for being able to get pregnant.

Answer

Maybe she might be feeling as if your rubbing it in her face that your pregnant .. Maybe you should speak to her bc it might continue 😕.. deff talk to her at the end of the day you are sisters and she should be able to understand that theres physical things you cant do and that its not on purpose ..  best of luck ..

Answer

She seems like she's jealous. When I lost my first baby I was upset at everyone who had kids even though I knew it wasn't their fault I felt envious and hurt like something was wrong with me...so that could be her way of dealing with not being able to have kids. Just try and not let it get to u

Answer

Unfortunately there isn't much you can do. where she shouldn't be mean to you, since it isn't your fault she can't have children she may not know any other way to express how she feels. I have a sister who was born with no uterus, cervix, and she only has one ovary. She cannot have children and when she found out I was pregnant; we went weeks without talking. She still has yet to meet my daughter. I'm sorry. :(

Answer

It sounds like your sister has some jealously issues. Sit down and talk to her about it. She can't be bitchy every time you get pregnant. It would be like me getting mad anytime someone complains that they spilled their beer with "AT LEAST YOU CAN DRINK BEER. BE GRATEFUL." Sounds stupid huh ? LOL 
But in all seriousness, sit down with her. Just because pregnancy is beautiful doesn't mean I don't get to complain.

Answer

I'm sorry she is making you feel guilty during a time in your life that you should be celebrating. I'm sorry she is making you feel bad. Although not over fertility-related things, my sister has become jealous of me for things that are beyond my control. We used to be very close but it's been years since we've gotten along. It used to really hurt - how she would make me feel.  She would make me feel bad for good things happening in my life or made me feel guilty when something went my way. It seems like everything about me angers her in some way. Anyway, I've learned that I cannot control how she feels or reacts to me and my life, but I can control how I feel about her treatment. I'm learning to let her comments and disconnect from my life roll off my back. It doesn't always happen but it almost always hurts when she says something unkind, but I can't change her. I can only control how I feel and react and how it effects my life/mood. I can't really avoid her. We live in the same town in a close-knit family so I just have learned to live with the fact that she is jealous and upset at me for things beyond my control...and I just have to accept that and learn to move on.

When your sister can't have kids

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