Maybe I'm drunk. But sometimes you see more clearly in this state of mind.
I don't know what to do...
I told him I love him.
He didn't feel the same way back.
I didn't expect him to.
Who could love a girl that doesn't fully love herself?
A girl that cries herself to sleep in his arms because she says she can hear the voices again.
Screaming in her ear that she's not worth it and that his compassion and care is a lie.
Because maybe it is.
Maybe those 8 months he held me and told me I was beautiful were to humor me?
To make me keep coming back for more.
More sex.
More empty promises.
More empty...
Empty.
Emptier than my stomach on a bad day when I want nothing more than to waste away and die.
I told him I love him...
What a stupid mistake.
He said he doesn't know if he will feel that way for me.
I didn't expect him to.
I didn't expect him to...
I didn't...
He told me it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter what I do.
Who I talk to.
Who I sleep with.
Because we aren't a couple and that makes it okay.
Not to me.
Because I know how it feels to care for someone.
Give them everything you have in you and have them tear it to shreds in front of your eyes.
They do it with no emotion.
Nothing inside them.
Because they felt nothing for you.
Because you are nothing.
You are nothing.
Nothing.
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