holding my tongue
I should not be as angry as I am, but if I don't sleep, I get furious for little things. I had my daughter to bed by ten. My husband got home from work at midnight. When we went to bed around one, he laid in bed and stared at our sleeping daughter because he hadn't seen her all day. Her portable crib is at the end of our bed. We just recently got her sleeping through the nights again. So, feeling guilty for not joining in the sweet moment I move down to look at her. Baby girl lets a huge fart rip and both of us giggle a bit. She hears, and wakes. So we put her passie back in and she lays back down but doesn't go back to sleep.
So he suggests she lay with us for a while. So then we move all the pillows away and lay her down with us. This last for maybe two hours before she fusses again. So he suggests we put her back in her crib. That doesn't work. So I rock her again until she's asleep but as soon as she's down in the crib she's up and crying again. 😖 at this point I'm so mad at him. He suggests she needs a bottle so we go to the kitchen and I make one while he takes our dogs outside.
I start to feed her. But he makes a bowl of cereal. It's four thirty AM. Every stupid crunch he makes is making me more and more angry. The sound of the spoon clanging on the bowl, the sound of his chewing. It's making me insane. I open my mouth to say something rude, because at this point I am fuming! This is his fault in the first place.
But, I don't. He's trying. He's trying to help. For so long he didn't, and now he is. I sigh, and take deep breaths, and realize that he's trying his best here and so am I. So we'll both sleep on couches while our baby sleeps in the swing that rocks and sings, so we can all maybe get a few hours of sleep.
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