My little rant on PMS

Downing
I'm supposed to start my period today. I've had light symptoms all day. I've been anxiously awaiting the first cramp or sign of blood. I'm determined not to ruin ANOTHER pair of underwear.
Now, im not sexually active, but let me tell you being late for my period is the worst!! I'm literally spending every second obsessing. Waiting. Checking. 
I'm seriously huge. My stomach is three times as big as it normally is. It's so uncomfortable. I'm not cramping, but I have pains from my stomach trying to hold itself together. Haha
To add a perfectly evil cherry on top, Mother Nature is putting me through all of this the day before my new boyfriend comes home from his two day trip to Chicago. He's gonna come home and be like,"She was a lot hotter when I left.. 🤔" 
I'm miserable. I'm the size of a house. I'm moody. I'm exhausted. I'm going to stab someone if I don't start my period soon.