embarrassing

  I just lost my virginity to my boyfriend (still with him) I didn't do it my first or several times we had sex.. But I did it.. I quffed.. It was so embarrassing.. So that night I went home an searched it up. I guess it is normal but every single time after that I had that feeling that I was going too.. My boyfriend doesn't say anything but "it's okay" even though the lights are off he can still notice that I'm embarrassed from it.. But what do I do.. Like I do want it to be enjoyable and not be trying to hold it in... what do I do??? Help please before he gets home from basic (he's currently in the Air Force)