Why is this so hard 😪

Question

Our little boy is 10 days old and I'm definitely feeling some sort of way.. I was prescribed an antidepressant but I don't think it's doing anything. After a lengthy hospital stay due to complications with my health, being home the past 4 days have been the most emotional of my life. I feel terrible for saying I'm in like a "hot and cold" state of mind about having our baby. My SO and I have only been together a year but the past 8 weeks I've been feeling very physically abandoned because I was having complications (not either of our faults but I'm still very down about it) and now I'll be out of commission for another 4 weeks or so. He says he loves me and I do believe him but with me always having issues with trust it's very difficult. He's the only one working and has been since the beginning of the pregnancy so I've been sitting home every day basically only left to the thoughts in my head for the past 9 months or so. He works all hours and I guess my mind just wanders. I don't believe he'd cheat on me but when your mind is going and you don't feel good enough or attractive enough and feel like a total piece of crap because you can't even satisfy your SO and you so badly want the intimacy back it's definitely frustrating.. I'm having other issues too like not feeling like I'm bonding with my baby. Yes I take care of him basically 24/7 and he's always with me and I do get happy looking at him most of the time but I definitely don't feel as connected as I should. I have to make an appointment with a doctor, I know this.. But  does anyone have any other advice or similar situations to compare? I feel like a bad momma for feeling the way I do. Thanks in advance, mommas

Answer

How long have you been on the anti depressant? It takes some time to kick in. Everyone goes through the baby blues part i think and it's hard.  Your whole life just changed. But think of the miracle you now have. Your body just went through so much.  It's gonna take some time to feel like yourself again.  My little one is just over three months and i finally am starting to feel like myself again. Try and give yourself a break. I know it's hard but just take things one day at a time.  When your mind starts to wander take the baby for a walk or read to your little one.  Your voice is calming to them and it will help distract you too plus help you bond.

Answer

I know exactly how you feel ! Right now my baby is almost 8 weeks but when I was pregnant I also would stay home and my boyfriend was the one working. He always leaves at 6 and his getting home time varies ..... I also have difficulties with trust. A few things have happened in the past with us that make me think that way and have those thoughts you explained. Then towards the end of my pregnancy he had to work in MIAMI , known for 'hot girls , strip clubs , beaches etc ' and they had to spend the week over there to work and being fat and pregnant , I was beyond insecure and I don't even know. He knew though and he'd text back as soon as he could , he'd call, FaceTime ... But still, the mind will wander if it wants. Now even after 7 weeks I still feel the same. When my baby was first born and she'd keep me up all night just crying it was hard ... It's definitely a BIT easier now. She sleeps during the night and only wakes up to eat , diaper change then falls back asleep. I hope it gets better for you ❤️

Answer

You're a great momma! Your little baby loves you more then anything! He has loved you ever since his heart started beating! Don't forget that! It's difficult being alone all the time, and thoughts do wander. But don't let them, talk to your new baby and tell him stories, read him some books, sing to him! Your baby has heard your voice and loves hearing you! And sit down with your SO after baby is asleep and just talk to him. Tell him how you feel, ask if you two could go out to dinner and spend time together! You could also invite friends over while your SO is at work or you could go over to a friends house, go out to the mall, or grab some lunch with a friend. Go to a park, go for a walk.. It's definitely hard, but be strong (easier said then done) but you can do it! Think about your baby and how much your little guy loves you, pretty soon he will grow up and he with call you mama, and he will say I love you! Just give it time, keep your head up, and there's nothing wrong with crying! Hug your SO, and just cry! He will be there to hold you tight and hug you back!

Answer

The antidepressant may take up to six weeks for maximum effect.

Why is this so hard 😪

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