Frustrated with my husband...Am i being selfish??

Question

My husband is a cook & works long hours. The owner  is out of the country and he's  working open-close every single day for a whole month. 7am-8pm. 
When he comes home from work, I'd like to hang out with him. His mom, dad, etc  live in Costa Rica so he calls them when he gets out of work. 2x in the past week he talks to them till 4am... doesnt eat dinner, Goes to sleep, wakes up tired as hell in 2 hours to go back to work again. The thing that gets me is he tells me when he calls that he'll just be on the phone for a lil while, so all night until I go to sleep (before I give up) I go to check on him and be like .. wtf?! Honestly I have a hard time falling asleep without him.  He pushes me away and says 'the thing I hate the most is someone trying to control me'. 
Last night his cousin came over because he left to go back to costa Rica this morning so my husband made a ton of food and they stayed in the restaurant. He did invite me to come over, but I was at home cleaning the house. At 12:30am, I called him askin when he's going to come home... He told me he's hanging out with his friends and I should come over! And to stop being on top of him. He came home at 3:30am. I didn't know he was planning a party to hang out all night at the restaurant! I didn't see him at all yesterday. 😖  Tonight after work he called his sister outside on our deck. I didnt even know he was home.  I go outside and he told me he just got here.... He said to give him 20 mins & we'll hang out... He was on the phone with her an hour after that. So then we ate dinner together, he passed out and now here I am. 😔 
 We've been together 4 yrs. everything else is great. He does treat me like a princess.  We're still in love. Its just once a year for a month he works every day when the boss goes on vacation and I dont ever see him.... And it seems like he doesn't care. I'm feeling so lonely. Am I being selfish?

Answer

It's once a month...you'll be fine! Just suck it up, and go out with the girls!!

Answer

I mean I would be annoyed too and it doesn't seem like your trying to control him but a healthy relationship requires quality time together. ... however... if this is only for this one month and it's happened before and gone to normal after the month was over then I'd just bite my tongue and let it be for the rest of the month.  If it doesn't go back to normal Ayer then definitely have a chat with him on how you feel... but if it's really just during this time period I'd let it go.

Answer

I understand how you feel. I've been in your situation, but in saying that. He did ask you twice if I'm correct to go hang with him and his mates at the restaurant. That to me show's he wants to spend time with you. 
I bet he is probably stressing Aldo because he is worked of his feet, wanting to catch up with his family and spend time with you. 
The poor guy sounds to be trying to stretch himself out for every one. 
Tell him how you feel hunny, but not in the nagging, controlling wife kind of way.
Maybe say something like 
" baby we really need to talk, and I don't want you to think I'm being nagging or controlling. It's just I love you and am really missing our time together right now" 
Remind him that you understand how busy he is with work and understand that it's just a month, but any time you spend with him is obviously precious time to you x

Answer

So I'm very close with my family and talk to them on the phone a lot. Much more than my husband talks to his family. I know sometimes it annoys him when I'm on the phone with my sister for an hour and he wants us to do something else. That said, I would never spend all our free time together on the phone or be disrespectful by letting him think we're going to do something and then staying on the phone anyways. It might only be one month a year but it seems pretty disrespectful. He'a not just not making time for you but he's also being an ass in the process.

Answer

How does he talk to his parents til 4 am. I mean I don't wanna be one of those girls who just automatically assumes but are u sure he's talking to family all the time..

Answer

u said it is only like this a month out the year?  i think it isnt a big deal allow the man to have his own time

Answer

To me I think most women would love to be in your situation. My husband works 50+ hrs a week than for some period of time would help my uncle every weekend delivering pinball machines, sit down drivers etc out of statw. I completely get were you can feel lonely(I have too)  but it sounds to me he is working very hard to give you two a good life. What would you do if he didnt work? No motivation while you were busting your butt? Blahh, Id pick the ladder :) You also live with him and see him 365 days of the year so I wouldnt be hurt by the phone calls. Your not wrong in feeling a bit lonely/disconnected. I think every marriage goes threw that. As far as the late night hang out with the friends, that was a bit rude. But men dont think sometimes lol only live in the moment than you get an opps... Just talk to him. Tell him you understand he is working hard but would love to spend atleast a day with him during the week. That you need that connection. Best of luck chickadee!

Frustrated with my husband...Am i being selfish??

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