Dreams after a death

No bashing,this is a long post also... just wondering as i myself am confused, my fiance passed away a little over 2 months ago, we have a baby on the way in October, and i keep having dreams, not just normal dreams, this ones seem more vivid almost real, on one dream he told me that he was in a dark place because he took his life away and couldnt go to heaven, are these just part of grieving dreams or is he trying to get ahold of me? Im not into any religion so there are times i believe in other worlds or life after death, i have an appointment with a medium but some people tell me not to do it, that God forgives everyone, but i want to know if it was an accident or if he purposely did it, i need to know if he forgives me for not loving him as much as he needed. Also had a dream that i had an emergency c section and that he was holding out his hands for me as i didnt make it, most of the pregnancy related dreams ive ever had are true. Ive had so many ither dreams but these 2 dreams affect me the most?