conflicting feelings

Ashley
My fiance and I have been trying for 17 months and had two miscarriages. I am due to have an SIS on Wednesday to check why we cant get pregnant. 
Recently, i lost 18 pounds. We are getting married next year. As much as we want a baby, a part of me wants to not try now. All this weight loss would make me feel better in a wedding dress. This weight loss for nothing. So confused.