Just two months ago I got out of a year long relationship and with I still miss him (c) I regretfully had a fwb relationship with one of my friends (d) and ended it quickly after three weeks. C and I were incredibly close and I've never had a relationship with anyone like I had with him he was also my first and I his. We had this bond that was really strong and I miss our relationship so much I miss knowing someone so well and being able to know what the other was thinking about with out even talking. More than anything I miss our physical relationship he knew all my spots and I knew his and I'm secretly relly kinky and he would tie me up and I called him sir and I just can't see myself having that relationship with anyone else. Not to mention the sex was AMAZING C was a spectacular lover and he and I just clicked. It wasn't one of those stupid relationships where we were attached at the hip but we never lost that yearning to be with one another the only reason we broke up is because he had to move. D and I were flirty friends for awhile before c and I were even dating d could always make me laugh even if I was in the middle of a panic attack I was laughing if he was there. A week after c left d and his girlfriend broke up and we found sanctuary in each other but after hanging out a few times I knew what I was doing wasn't right it wasn't what I wanted I didn't wanna be fooling around with someone d did and he wasn't letting me go anytime soon and he manipulated me into telling him basically all my secrets so he could ruin my social life at his leisure I finally ended things with him in a "safeish" way but I still have to act like I'm friends with him so he doesn't turn our friends against me. One of our friends (a) however has been the one I've been going to through all of this and he's been helping me through my breakup with c and everything that happened with d and I've had actually feelings (not like d) for him since we met 3 years ago but i was always with someone and now I'm realizing he is what I want but I'm scared of a lot of things with him: 1 initiating any sort of relationship because I'm not sure if the feeling is reciprocal in anyway 2 i'm scared that he will be too much like C or not enough like C because he is very down to earth like C was but they are two different people but I don't want to miss out on the relationship C and I had in bed 3 i've never seen what he's like in a relationship with another girl or how he would treat me and I'm very scared because of past trauma I've had in relationships with unsafe guys I just dont know what to do. I feel like it's to early to date again for real but I don't wanna miss my chance and if I do ask A out i don't want it to ruin our friendship and if course obvious reasons like rejection. GUYS HELP PLESE TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!! (Btw for background I'm 22 c was 23 d is 22 and a is 21)