Can you leave someone you love?..


Married, 5th baby on the way (an oops). In short without a 100 page novel. Husband is selfish, addicted to computer games, refuses to help, refusés to spend time with the kids or me or makes us know he's mad about leaving his computer. I raise the kids myself, take care of both gender roles in chores, phone calls, appointments, fixing things.. he goes on a computer looking at power points and says his job is stressful.and I have it easy and doesn't come home and help. This is 12 years in the making. My oldest is 12 and the only boy. Husband has been his dad since boy was one month old. Nothing. No bonding, ridicules him, no encouragement, belittling. Treats second child better but the third favorite and everyone sees how different kids get treated.. yesterday my son says while hyperventilating he's so hurt

"I want to be with you mom, but I want to go live somewhere else. I don't have a dad and it isn't fair"

This is one of a hundred conversations with my sweet boy. Husband will not listen. Has no empathy towards others feelings, kids or not.

I think we need to leave. But I'm scared. I love him.. but not in love anymore. He is a good guy, I've seen it. And I do not doubt his love for me and he does try when I get so tired of it I go on a rampage of depression and bi polar out bursts. But does minimal and then stops when water is calmer.. he loves us.. but he loves us how he feels we need to be loved, and not how we need to be loved. Like we all love him how he needs to be loved. My kids are suffering, and I am long passed mentally stable to be any good to continue like this for them. I'm scared. I don't want to leave but he says he's fine, nothing is his fault, nothing is wrong with him. (He has a severe Anger issue including road rage when we are all in the car with him) he needs help. And he won't get it and I can't force him to when he sees he's fine..

Can you leave someone you love, and you k o they love you, over not loving you the way you need them too? Is it selfish? Am I asking too.much?

Baby due December 6th and I want to stay until she's born and then go back home with my family. I'm scared of it all