I'm ready to share the hell I went through after D&C

I'm typically a very happy person. Sad topics are confusing to me and I'm reliving a hell I wouldn't wish on anyone. 1 hour before my D&C on August 26th I got a call from a social worker asking about what my plans are for the baby. I mentioned creamation. she suggested a funeral home in my area the did it as a favor for expecting mothers. I thought that was very kind. I went through calling and calling every day after trying to get an appointment  so I can sign paper work. Two weeks later I finally get that done. Then a week of calling and calling and finally Getting In touch with the right people at the hospital to let them know about the arrangements. I felt a huge amount of stress slowly lift off my shoulders each day as I wait for the call to pick up my angel's ashes. Two weeks later I get a call from the funeral home. Before answering I took a deep breath said a quick prayer and felt the beginning of peace. These people tell me a month later that "they can't do it". I was furious. This lady told me "a miscarriage isn't considered a birth and you  where not far enough along for cremation." They knew from the beginning The baby was 12 weeks along. Why did it take so long to tell me they couldn't do it? I couldn't conceal The amount of rage I had. I shared a few not so nice words about what I thought of them and hung up. I called my social worker shared the story and even she broke her professional voice and had a few things to say about the situation (which made me feel better about cussing out the funeral home lady). She gave me another contact but I had run out of emotional stamina. I couldn't go through it again. I couldn't call. My husband took charge and made everything happen! He is my rock! It took a matter 4 days to make an appointment, sign paperwork, and receive our sweet baby back with the new funeral home. The day after we got him back is the day AF snuck up on me and I am trying to keep it together! I have decided my suffering will be offered up for my friends who are expecting. I will feel every emotion and pain in my heart with my fullest ability which I have been ignoring and offer it up to Give him strength! My Sweet baby Joshua Will be watching over them!