TTC for 8 years, afraid to test :(

Anyone else out there gotten to a point where you don't even want to test anymore because if you have to see a negative result just one more time you may loose it? I'm so there..
This month is looking really positive. 
I'm late, having some seriously intresting symptoms, this could totally be it... I just can't bring myself to do it. 
I have issues...lol