About 3 months ago, someone accidentally let it slip that my husband had been doing drugs all night the night before. "I'm surprised he can sleep after doing all that c*ke" is what they said. By the look on my face, they could tell i had no idea. I confronted him, he said he "just tried a little", it was a dumb choice and he would never do it again. Here we are, months later and i have more than enough proof that he never stopped using. Including walking in on him. His excuse this time was that he hasn't been doing it (a lie) and that he only recently has done it a few times. Again he promised to stop. But this time I'm ready to call it quits. We've been trying for a baby for a long time with no success, and you decide to start using???? F**king kidding me!? He won't get help because he denies he has a problem. He won't be honest about his using. A neighbor told me she sees a lot of random people in and out of my home when I'm not there, and i was told by a friend of his that some guy and his gf were in my bathroom using on multiple occasions. I'm just completely heartbroken. He suddenly decides to hang with the wrong crowd, and to put me and my home in jeopardy?!? I told him there's no point in ttc when he's doing that crap. I also refuse to let my child be subjected to that kind of a lifestyle. I won't wipe the tears off my child's face due to their daddy being incarcerated or worse... I just won't. I've cried, I've prayed, I've gotten angry.. Now i am tired and i don't know what to do..

I just needed to vent. No harsh comments please.