when you loose a family member..

ca
Hey guys, so my grandmother passed away about a week ago, we had her funeral for her yesterday and it was absolutely beautiful :) keeping a close eye on my grandfather to make sure he's taking it alright, they were inseparable. My aunt moved in with them when they both got to old to take care of themselves and they did not want to move into nursing home. My aunt did absolutely everything for them. Although my aunt had some mental issues that got worse when my grandmother passed. She told me a few days ago she wanted to check into a hotel just to clear her mind for a few days and be away from the family. She does this every now and then and I understand because with our huge family things do get stressful. I was with my grandfather today and two police officers pulled into our driveway and told us that my aunt had passed away from an overdose suicide.
You guys I don't even know what to think or feel right now. Loosing two people in one week? I haven't even cried or anything just because I'm honestly confused? And loosing her to suicide out of all things? My aunt and I where super close and I still have her voicemails from a few days ago and she seemed fine. I don't know how to feel right now shouldn't I be sad? I'm just so confused and advice might be good right now maybe someone could tell me?