Update: Hey ladies I know this is late as hell so sorry!

Little back story for the story later

( So I met my husband in 2014, we're an interracial couple and I'm Nigerian, when I met him I was 17 and idk if you guys know but African parents are strict so basically they found out that I was dating him and they were pissed bc like the motto is supposed to be "finish school, get a job, get married" so they basically said that my husband was a distraction for me and they prevented me from seeing him at all costs so one day I left home and moved in with my husband and his family, as months went by my parents eventually gave in and accepted the fact that I wasn't going to leave my husband for anything but even though they accepted I never moved back in with my parents. So bc my SO parents knew about all the drama between my parents not wanting me to be with their son they didn't like my parents and they basically said that my parents didn't care about me I believed that it was just a culture shock and difference bc they're Caucasian and we're Africans so standards and morals are different my parents just didn't have the same mottos that his parents did, so at the end of the day my mil, fil, and sim believe that my parents didn't give a damn about me and they were bad ppl. Bc I left to be with my man my church condemned me all my friends left me I was called a whore, a slut, etc., everyone I knew just basically stopped talking to me bc they didn't expect it from me so just bc I love and wanted to be with my husband and not leave him I went through a lot of emotional stress and what not, I thought that leaving my family for my husband would make my life better but it didn't my mil and sil talked about me behind my back almost every other day for no reason at all and whenever my husband would confront them they would lie about it and deny it 🙄 my fil one day told me that my mil and sil were just jealous of me bc we're not on the same level and I'm more successful than them and tbh I have noticed that even with my husbands cousins my mil and sil try to compete with them in everything they do, my mil and ail feel like they always do it better and what not), I noticed that everyone always tries to please my mil bc they're always scared of how she lashes out when she gets in a bad mood but I think that's bs 🙄 I won't make myself or my family uncomfortable just to please her.

I gave birth on December 20 and I told her she couldn't be in the room and her and my sil threw massive shade but I didn't care at all bc at the end of the day she's not my mother 🙄. But a couple of days after I gave birth I was rushed to the ER bc I had a fever and low potassium and as of this time my husband and I were still living with them in their basement (his family) so after I was good and was discharged I decided that I wanted to go stay with my mom bc on the night that I was rushed to the ER I was crying for help at 2:30 am and no one heard me I banged and did everything and it was difficult bc as of then my husband worked night shifts so it took about an hour for fil, sil, and mil to come down and see that I needed help so this made me want to go stay with my mom so that I wouldn't have any more issues plus everyone on that house except for my husband and I are chain smokers they smoke like every ten minutes so on The day I left I also took my daughter with me so that she wouldn't be exposed to secondhand smoke as a newborn and also bc her pediatrician advised it my mil, sil, and fil were all mad and said that the smoke wouldn't do anything to my baby anyway I still discussed this with my husband and he agreed that it would be better for us to go stay with my mother until we find our own place. I left on Christmas <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a> and my mil started yelling at me like "why you doing this? Don't hurt him (my husband) blah blah blah" ( my husband is a mommy's boy) and my sil was backing her up I was just like 🙄 really ? Don't hurt him? After everything I went through just to be with him? It should be the other way around that he shouldn't hurt me, so I just said ok whatever idc, not gonna argue and I left. Eventually my husband and I got our own place in February and we moved, his parents were mad about it bc basically his parents live off of their children, his dad only earns $400 a week and his mom doesn't work at all so my husband pays the cable, water, electric bills while his older brother and sister pay some pets of the rent, my husbands parents use the money that their children give them to pay for rent on gambling and cigarettes so they're always behind on rent so they were mad when my husband was leaving bc that would mean that they would fall into debt and what not. So that was that ever since I left on Christmas <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a> mil and sil do not talk to me it took mil like two months before she came to visit us at our new place and see her granddaughter and sil hasn't come at all to see us up till this day. Bc they were so back in rent they got kicked out in April so my husbands parents had to go live in a motel and his sister and her daughter had to move in with her best friend. Back in May my sil put me, my husband and their brother in a group msg about my husbands cat who stays with her and she basically told us she couldn't take care of the cat anymore but mind you when my husband and I were moving to our place she asked if we could leave the cat bc she doesn't want the cat and her cat to be distanced since they're siblings so in the group msg my husband and I told her that that wasn't the agreement and plus we can't take the cat bc our daughter has been having reactions to animals sneezing and coughing and stuff so she came out of no where and said to me "I tried to give a fuck about you bc you're my brothers wife but I don't anymore so idc" I didn't say anything I just allowed my husband to deal with it.

My husband and I went to see fireworks with our daughter on independence weekend and his parents crashed our outing 🙄 they also brought my sil 7 yr old daughter which is also their granddaughter after the whole firework event we all went back to my house and when they were leaving my sil daughter which is my husbands niece gave him a big hug and said bye then her grandparents told her "Now go give Margareth and Kelsi a hug and say bye" (me and my daughter) and she said "No thank you" and she walked away no one corrected her and all her grandparents said to me was "she's rude" and that was it 🙄 to me I believe she hears her mom and grandmother talk about me which is why she acted that way who knows but besides that she's spoiled 🙄 she has every electronic device you can think of and when her mom tries to correct her she hits her mom and tells her to shut up so yea 🙄. So that's just an update lol sorry it was super long!

So my husband's family thinks that his mother is automatically going to be in the delivery room with me when I give birth, and that's just a no 😑. Back story: My SO has an older sister and she's a single parent who had her daughter about seven years ago so of course her mother (which is my mil) was in the room with her because at that time my SIL's baby's father had passed away, so like apparently when she gave birth to her daughter she didn't get to hold or touch her daughter for a good two hours 🙄 because her mother (my mil) had swooped the child as soon as she was born so every time we're eating dinner together or something my FIL and SIL would always talk about how I should be prepared to not see my child for a long time after delivery because grandma is going to have her and they'd all be laughing about it plus they automatically assume that they will be taking me to the hospital once I'm in labor What 😐😐😐... I haven't made it known to them that I strictly want just my husband and my mother in the room with me because every time it comes up they always put me in the spot of where I have to agree with them so I won't look like a bitch they are the type of people who cause drama for no reason at all, but I've expressed this to my husband and he's agreed with me and sworn to handle any drama that may occur. I have multiple reasons for not wanting my MIL in there one I'm not hosting a free look at my vagina party so I'm not comfortable with her seeing me in that position, two I really want to spend my labor and delivery time with my husband and my mother, three my MIL is literally a monster she's a hypocrite throughout this whole pregnancy she has never been involved my husband and I have asked her multiple times if she would like to come to a sonogram appointment with us and every time she's asked she'd just shove it off and ignore that we even asked but on the other hand my mother has been through it all with me and has been very very very supportive. And lastly She's also the kind of woman who throws tantrums and starts drama for no reason whatsoever she's gotten into a few arguments with me calling me a bitch and saying stuff like how her son doesn't need me and he can have any female he wants, blah blah blah. I do know for sure that she will be pissed about how my mother is allowed in the room but she's not but hey I really do not care she's not my mother and I don't have any special connection with her so biological mom trumps MIL I really don't care 🙄 but now that I'm pregnant her and her husband are always trying to kiss my ass and be fake. Even though I included who is allowed in the room with me on my birth plan and  I know that I can express this to the nurses, my doctor, and my husband I still have this haunting fear every single day that that woman is going to find a way in there I just don't know why 😭. So my thing is whenever the topic of who's going to be in the room comes up should I just be blunt about it, or should I let my husband tell them himself or should I just be quiet and wait till that day and have the nurses deal with it?