family advice

I need some advice, I think my mother is in a stage a depression and lonely. She is a completely different person than from years ago. She is divorced of 8 years, she dates but none of them she has stuck with. I know she is keeping her options opened but she is loosing lots of weight she eats like a bird, she tells my grandmother (her mom) she is fat and doesn't want to eat too much. Over the past few years she has picked up hoardering. She has become too lazy to pick up after herself for anything, from cooking to her own bedroom. She does not ever want to clean she has to be told to do so. Even if that she gets upset If you ask her to do something. When family members such as my self, my sisters and grandmother try to talk to her and see what's wrong she cuts us off and doesn't want to hear it. She becomes clueless about life situation or advice, kind of mean but she has become like dumb as if she has no common sense of all a sudden. She was involved in a car accident the other day that was not her fault but she didn't know what to do, she called my grandparents to go help her. It has been 3 days and she has not called the ladies insurance company to file a claim (the lady rear ended her speeding) we have told her to contact the ins co to get her car fixed but all she said is I will think about it, maybe tomorrow. I don't understand.. Everything is just adding up and I don't know what to do. My grandmother suggested talking to her dr or a psychiatrist. Does anyone know what the regulations are to speak to another persons dr. We do have the same dr but I know HIPPA kicks in after so much. Please!! This has put a burden on myself because I am the one who lives with her. I broke down and cry so much because I care for her. She is my mother ❤️