If I'm not preggo, there's something seriously wrong with me :-(

I seriously don't know what's going on, but I feel my body's rebelling against me... I've broken out like I'm a teenager all over again, and nothing I'm doing is helping. I'm so gassy, I'm disgusted with myself (I've never been a gassy person), I have to pee constantly now, smells make me gag, I get random waves of nausea, and I'm going to bed at 8pm every night (can't keep my eyes open past 7:30 anymore)! What the hell is going on?? We've been ttc 2.5 years now, so I'm past believing this could possibly mean anything good, so I'm wondering if there's something more serious going on. Anyone here ever have mono? I've used the drinking fountain at work before, and I'm wondering if I've picked up mono or something! Not trying to be a hypochondriac or anything, but am curious if these are symptoms of that, and should I be worried? Thanks in advance for any input anyone could provide!