Should you try harder to make it work for your kids?

Question

I wonder what everyones take is on making a relationship work for the sake of the children.

I am 31 weeks pregnant with my SO and I first child. I don't know if it's my hormones or if I'm really just not in love anymore and I don't know what to do....

Answer

Unless he is abusive, I wouldn't make a decision like breaking up during pregnancy. It could be hormones, or just adjusting to all the changes going on. How long have you been with him?

Answer

You should try and make it work for you and your SO's sake. Trying to make it work just for the kids...will not work. Ive seen it too many times, plus you might make it feasible while your kids are at home, but once they move out, its just you and him alone. My parents made it work for the kids and got a divorce after 30 years,  its been much harder on us as adults than it wouldve been when we were younger. Your relationship is about you and him.

Answer

This is the only advice I have: wait till after the baby is born.
A friend of mine went through this exact thing with her SO while she was pregnant with their daughter.
Straight up told him and pretty much everyone they knew that she just, "didn't want to be with him anymore; there's no reason; I'm good without him."
Her mom advised her to wait as well, because pregnancy and hormones do weird things to us. 
After she had the baby, she completely 180.  They laugh about it now, are married and had another baby.
I'm not saying this is how it's going to work for you, but waiting a little bit longer to make sure that it's not hormones, is better to do then break up and regret it later.

Answer

I don't think so, your kids deserve a mom who is happy with her life and if you are in an unhappy relationship that's what they will grow up thinking is the norm. I'm a single mom to be, I'm choosing to raise a child, not marry one.

Answer

I went through a time during my pregnancy where I couldn't stand to be in the same room as my husband. I knew it was just my hormones though. Everything about him drove me nuts. It was awful. I thought I didn't love him. But now (due in 2 weeks) I feel so silly even thinking about how I felt then. Was sooo my hormones

Answer

No! I've tried that before and it was horrible. Our issues didn't disappear and ultimately I ended it because I didn't want my kids to grow up in a sad household.

Answer

Yes. That should not be your only reason, but it should play a big part.

Answer

I think you should try harder,  definitely. But sometimes there is just nothing you can do and a split would actually benefit the child more. It could just be your hormones. But ultimately if you are not happy,  your children cannot be happy.  Do what's best for your kids,  always.

Should you try harder to make it work for your kids?

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