pregnancy

Sara
Me and my partner have been together for about 5 years now, together we have a little boy called Ethan who's 2 in December,
He had a boy from a previous marriage aged 9. 
We have been talking about having another one recently and he really really really wants to be a dad again! 
Don't get me wrong I love being a mum and I would love another but I don't know wheather I'm ready again or not! 
I had a horrific labour that would put anyone off :( 
I gave up a lot when I first fell pregnant and lost a lot of so called friends! 
And I'm petrified that it will happen again! 
I feel alone as it is as no one comes to visit me or bothers to ask if I want to join them on an outing anywhere! 
Feels like that just because I'm a mum people think I'm not going to want to do anything! Yes my son is my priority but I need me time too! 
Anyone got any advice for me on what you've just read???