Long birth story- went great till the end when everything went wrong! My boy is so worth it though

Well the last 48 hours cannot have been but some of the worst and best of my life. My water broke late last night; however, contractions were not starting so we did not head into the hospital till 9:30 the next morning. When we were admitted they soon began IV Pitocin to make me start having contractions that were closer together and painful. As the day went by we were up to 8 an hour of Pitocin (max is 10-11), and I still wasn't having much pain. The doc broke the second half of my water (the one we didn't know was there) around 4:00 pm. Contractions became painful but not unmanageable, I used gas mask for an hour and that helped take the edge off.

At 5cm dilated I requested an epidural - pain wasn't out of control but I felt like it would be soon and I'd rather have the epidural a little early. Unfortunately this is where my problems began- the epidural was the most painful part of labor thus far as the poor anesthesiologist had to poke me 4 times with his huge needle in my spine, (I have scoliosis, and he kept hitting the right side of my spine instead). After the epidural was in the right spot, I was able to really sleep for the first time in 24 hours, which felt amazing! When I woke up I was able to progress to 10 cm (fully dilated) by 3:05 am where me Chris and the nurse began the hard part- pushing! Three long hours of hard pushing every 2-4 minutes with contractions I was exhausted. (The average push time for a first time mom is 2 hours to delivery). At 2 and a half hours they determined the baby was not progressing into the birth canal and I needed to think about options. At 3 hours I was told I could either get a c section or risk 4th degree tears and allow the doctor to use forceps. I asked to keep pushing for 15 minutes, but with the exhaustion of 31 long hours of labor setting in, I told them I couldn't do it and we needed to have a c section.

I've left Chris (my husband) out so far, but at this point my man really came through for me. He had already been so supportive of me- he counted through every contraction, provided me water with every break, rubbed my back and feet and told me how proud he was of me and how great I was doing countless times. When the doctor started talking about c section I broke down- everything had been great so far! My epidural was the worst part and that was a great "worst part" if you ask me. Chris came right up in my face and told me he would never ever leave and that I could do this because I am a strong woman whom everyone underestimates. This gave me the courage to go back to the OR, where they separated me and Chris. I immediately started crying uncontrollably, shaking so hard the table was rattling, and complaining of 10/10 pain in my back where the epidural was no longer connected. The anesthesiologist was able to bolus me and remove the back pain, but I could still feel them poking my abdomen! I told him it hurt and he had to give me three times the normal dose in order for me to not feel them cutting me open. At this point, Chris was still not there since there was a possibility they would have to put me under general anesthesia and he could not be there for that. Finally the anesthesiologist said that where I was feeling was "higher than the incision" and if I started feeling the surgery he could knock me out quickly with the anesthesia. I was terrified, had a warm bear hugger over my face, being told that I was a trial test to see if I could feel a scalpel opening my abdomen through skin, fat, muscle, and placenta. To say that I was having a panic attack was an understatement. Chris was suddenly there talking to me and listening to me tell him about my severe chest pain, inability to breathe, and general terror. My entire body was shaking so hard and my teeth were chattering too hard to speak. The medications had also caused it to be nearly impossible to open my eyes so I had to just lie there in darkness as my body was turned, manipulated, and cut open. Chris stayed with me beginning to blessed end, even when someone offered to let him go see baby and that they would take care of me. I've never loved someone so much as when he said he wasn't going to leave me there to shake and wonder while being stitched up.

The end of this story includes them placing Davey on my chest which caused an almost immediate calm to descend over both him and me. I was able to relax, breathe normally, and enjoy Gods precious little boy curled up on my body. What an incredible feeling- to have someone be so comforted just by your presence. To have a little person trust you to take care of the world. I can't believe this boy is all ours!