my jealousy is holding me back
I've been trying to work on it for years now and I still get jealous when he looks at other girls. He says he doesn't, but the fact he lies about it as well hurts me even more. I try to accept the fact that it's normal, but I can't so I just try to ignore it but it's like he's become so careless when checking out girls with me and then lies about it to my face when I confront him about it.
I broke up with him, because of my jealously and problems and how easily it was for him to lie to me so many times about that. I know I was most likely in the wrong, but at least he doesn't have to deal with me anymore. I know this will keep happening though, since most men stare at other women.
But I don't want to be with someone like that and if I can't handle something that is seen as so normal and common, I feel like it will hold be back from having a family of I can't deal with my husband looking at other women.
All I've ever wanted as a kid, was a family, and now that I know I can't do that I just want to kill myself. I know I'm overreacting, but trying to fix something for years with no progress at all and then realizing that I'm willing to leave someone over these natural things (it just makes me way too uncomfortable); these things will restrict me from being and having things I've always wanted for years. What do I do? If I can't even have a family, I see no point in my life
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