Hard days

I know his habits will be constantly changing. But my son is now fighting naps during the day, not going back to sleep after night feeds, etc. He won't just sit in a swing or seat. I know to not get used to anything because babies are constantly changing.

I just feel guilty. I was on the fence for a long time about having a baby. Now I am feeling all the things I was worried I would feel. Missing my old life, fighting and feeling resentful toward husband, worrying our marriage wont be able to handle a baby, etc. I feel terrible thinking these things, especially when looking at my little baby. I love him and I feel so bad when I get frustrated because it's not his fault.

Not all days are like this, but it's so easy to get consumed by a hard day. I feel like my husband had no idea how things with a newborn would be. I'm trying to be understanding and forgiving, but I don't feel like life has changed at all for him.

Blah. 😢