My baby decided to show up early at 36w4d

I usually don't post anything on here, only write responses, but I really need to get this off my chest.

On Thursday night (October 27, 2016), around 10 pm, my husband and I went into L&D for a decrease in fetal movement. After almost two hours of monitoring his heart and movement, his heartbeat suddenly dropped to 0 and stayed there for a good few minutes. Two nurses rushed in, had me lay on my side, and placed an oxygen mask on my face.

After another hour of waiting, the L&D doctor came in and was ready to discharge me, when the RN who was watching over me told him "no" and insisted I get an ultrasound done. Another few minutes of waiting and the ultrasound tech came into our room.

The ultrasound tech said his heart was good and his breathing was fine, but he still wouldn't move, no matter how hard the tech pushed against my tummy.

My RN waited for the results to come in and before I knew it, she had finished talking with my OB and informed me that I would be having a c-section at 7:30 AM.

On October 28, 2016 at 7:33 AM, I met my son Kaleb Maclovio Augustine. It was love at first sight.

Unfortunately the joy didn't last long. Soon after meeting him, he was whisked away and placed in the NICU due to glucose issues.

My baby is now 5 days old and still in the NICU due to blood sugar issues.

The nurses remind us everyday that they see baby's with the same problems as my son, and that he will get better, and he will go home, but... I just feel so lost right now. I know I have a huge support system with my family, friends, and my husband, but I can't help but feel alone right now.

I will have moments where I think that if I had been more careful during my pregnancy, he would have been a full term baby or if I had eaten better, his sugar would be better. When I go through these moments, my husband gets frustrated with me and it only makes me feel more alone 😭

Everyone tells me, "it could be worse," but to me, not having him home with me is worse. Having to leave him every night is so hard. Everyday we take one step forward, and by the end of the night we've taken two steps back.

I feel so alone right now 😢 All I can ask is that you all please keep my son in your prayers.