I have 7 days...
My C-section is exactly 7 days away, and I'm feeling conflicted. It's making me sick to my stomach. I'm ready to meet my first baby, my son, and sometimes, I'm moved to tears at the idea of laying eyes on him for the first time... but, there are also times that I'm absolutely petrified. I'm scared of failing at parenthood. I'm scared that I'll mess him up somehow. I'm scared that I won't enjoy being a mom and dare I say it, regretting it. I'm scared that people, including my husband and family, will see me as a bad mom.
I know that I love and will love this little person more than anything. I'm just so afraid that I'm one of those people that weren't meant to be parents. My husband is so excited and so confident about parenthood, and it's making me feel like there must be something wrong with me.
I'm just venting, and wondering if I'm alone? Does anyone else feel this way?
I feel so guilty for letting these thoughts creep up, because I feel my son deserves better. He deserves parents that are nothing but ecstatic about his arrival. It's breaking my heart.