opinions?

Question

My boyfriend and I are currently 4 months pregnant with our first baby together and we couldn't be more excited! We are actually finding out what we're having on Wednesday. This baby was planned and we knew this was what we wanted. After talking to my mom the other day, she told me that no one is throwing me a baby shower because people who aren't married don't have baby showers. This really hurt my feelings and made me feel like this exciting time isn't important to anyone but my boyfriend and me. Is my mom right? Am I going to have to plan my own baby shower if I would like to have one? :/

Answer

That's not a thing! You defenitly don't have to be married for a baby shower. The shower is about celebrating the baby you're about to have! I'd just plan your own shower, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. You and your baby deserve to be celebrated at such a special time😊

Answer

Lol your mum needs to get her head out of last century. Baby showers these days are for anybody expecting a baby, married, unmarried, single, some women even choose not to have them exclusive for females only and invite the men in their families and circles of friends!

Answer

I agree with a lot of what the OPs said. Sounds like mom is unhappy you aren't married and are pregnant and took a jab at you, which isn't cool - this is supposed to be a time of happiness for you. I will tell you, when I was in high school, a friend got pregnant and her mom was supportive but also upset that her daughter got pregnant so young/was unmarried. Once that baby was born, everything changed and she never mentioned the unmarried thing again and just focused on that grandbaby. I hope the same happens in your situation. Now, I don't know your mom or the relationship you have with your mom - but honestly, I'd try to extend an olive branch and say she hurt you when she basically told your baby wasn't worth celebrating because you aren't married. I'd also consider inviting her to the shower you're throwing as a gesture of good will, or to show you aren't going to throw digs back at her. I'm hoping she will change her tune for you. Good luck to you!!

Answer

It sounds like your mum is making a not so subtle dig that she is unhappy about your circumstances! That is ridiculous, anyone can have a baby shower! You have one requirement for a baby shower: be pregnant! I think traditions for baby showers are all over the place, I'm getting people asking me if I'm having a baby shower, and my boyfriend has decided we are! We will likely have to arrange it and that is fine by us! (We're also not married, just to shock your mum there 😉)

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That doesn't even make any sense! Anyone deserves a baby shower, especially if it's your first baby. 
I'd say definitely don't listen to your mom, and to have one anyway. Throw yourself one!

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Not at all! And what a mean thing to say. I've never heard anything like that. If it makes any difference, I was a single mom at 19 and had a really lovely baby shower given for me by my older female relatives. Their support meant very much to me, as it was obviously not an "ideal" situation. That's what a baby shower us all about - support and love for mama and baby (and daddy!)

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Nope she's wrong. It's 2016. Discrimination and bigotry isn't cool anymore.

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I am in the same boat as you. Four and a half months pregnant, finding out the gender on Wednesday too, planned pregnancy...I still haven't told my family that I'm pregnant. But if she won't plan your baby shower, that's okay. You can plan it. Invite friends, family, anyone. That party is meant for you and your baby, even your partner! It's still right to invite your family, but if they don't come and think negatively about all of it, then that's their loss. You can't please everyone. But hopefully, they'll turn around. You deserve to have a party to celebrate your child.

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OMG. That's ridiculous. It's doesn't matter if you are married or not a baby is a baby and has needs and when the parents are excited to be bringing this child into the world that's all that matters. Sorry sore subject for me as I'm also unmarried to my bf and I've gotten comments on when are youuuys gonna get married? You want to have a baby out of wedlock??? I'm like does that even matter, like at all? We are the child's parent happy and in love but aren't married. Doesn't make me or him any less of a parent to the child! 😤 anyways. I already know we will have three baby showers and this is my third child our first together. His family is planning one in January, my family is planning one in Feb/mar and my work friends are planning one for me in feb/Mar as well LOL!

Answer

Oh my god so ridiculous! I'm 17 and totally having a baby shower!! Who cares if mom won't throw it; planning your own everything will be exactly how you want it, you'll get to choose who comes the theme the food, there's no room for other people opinion anyways when you're pregnant, do what ya want and celebrate yourself and your baby❤️

opinions?

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