Alcoholic when im depressed...

so i been depressed lately due to not conceiving with my husband. I been sneaking alcohol in my house because my man gets mad.... I drink outside when hes sleeping because i dont want him to see me... I have a issue and i need to stop drinking when im depressed but for some reason it helps me and gets me a happier mood and i forget about everything... But still its bad for me and my husband never likes for me to drink ever since we started to date... i have no kids at all... Im very sad because i cant have kids and doctorrs say  im fine and healthy but I cant seem to get pregnant!!!! i feel like im done with life ..... please help me what should i do????