I need some help please. Who was 'wrong'?

Question

Okay ladies, I have a question for you.. My boufriend went through something about two weeks ago on a Tuesday.. Some family things I would like to not mention.. He's been dealing with that and I've been trying to help.. It's slowly been getting better.. That Wednesday, the next day, I found out my license was suspended.. I didn't tell him because there was already enough going on and I didn't want him to worry about that problem too.. Well, I slipped the other night and told him.. He's mad because I didn't tell him.. He feels it's the same or worse than lying.. I get that he's upset, but is he wrong for completely blaming me?? Is it the same or worse than lying?? Am I wrong for not telling him?? It's not about who was right or wrong.. I would just like to get an outsiders perspective in the situation.. Thank you..

Answer

Well , if those are his feelings about the situation I feel he's right in his feelings and shouldn't be told he's wrong for feeling upset. Or doesn't have the right to be upset. They are his feelings and rightfully so no matter how bizzare you may think they are. Maybe ask him what it is that makes him so upset about it. Why does he feel it's worst than lying ? He probably thinks of it as sneaky behavior or probably could feel you don't trust him enough to come to him. Or feels offended that you think he couldn't handle it. It could be anything. I don't think having a suspended license is so devastating that you can't tell your SO but you had your reasons. And just as you want to be understood, he wants to be understood as well. So you both have to be understanding of each other. I don't think you were wrong at all and as you stated, it's not a matter of rightand wrong at this point. It's a matter of acknowledging how it made him feel. I just think his feelings should be validated in the situation. Relationships are about learning each other. You've learned something new about him so the next time, you'll know a bit better how to handle the situation with him. Just tell him regardless what's going on. That way you can avoid unnecessarily conflict.

Answer

I don't think it's the same or worse than lying because you were just trying to not add on to all his problems and stuff he was worrying about.

Answer

You're wrong for not saying anything. Even with a lot going on I tell my husband everything. Communication is key.

Answer

You're lying by omission. Regardless of what he had going on, you should have told him. He's a big boy and I'm sure is more than capable of handling things.

Answer

Yeah should have just told him.

I need some help please. Who was 'wrong'?

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