trying really hard to have faith and hope

Ci
Hello all. 
 I have been trying to get pregnant for many years, like 7. I have seen doctors. I have been told I have pcos and that my left tube is closed. I have have painful operations to remove a cyst I had in my right side and also to open my left tube. But it closed again. 
With this app I have been trying to keep up on all the advice n tips but still not pregnant. I def don't have money for <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">ivf</a> so that's not an option. I also have multiple schorosis for over 9years now. I am 34 now n with my health not so great I'm beyond terrified that I won't become a mother. Everyone is having babies left to right and it's just not happening for me. 
Being a mother n bearing my own child has always been my ultimate dream as an adult and more then anything it's all that I want. I don't understand why it's not happening for me, why not me?  
I don't want to lose hope but I'm just emotionally drained 😞😔