Well that didn't happen. Basically I was induced for HBP at 38 weeks. Got a foley balloon cath put in to help my cervix dilate and my night nurse decided I was going to immediately start on pitocin (midwife wanted the balloon out before she started pitocin, but night nurse decided we needed to get things moving along) basically she doubled my dose of pitocin and I started having crazy contractions. I also DID NOT want an epidural. (Terrified of needles and someone at work showed me the picture of the needle and I literally had nightmares about it) and I roughed it out until the doctor came in the next morning to check me and I was dilated to a 6. At that point she broke my water and I immediately displayed to a 7. Not even 5 minutes later my contractions became unbearable I thought I was going to die. So we order the epidural and it takes forever for them to get there. The anesthesiologist was needed elsewhere so his assistant did or attempted the epidural. After 3 failed attempts to place the epidural she finally called the anesthesiologist and he finally got it in. Once in it was like magic juice completely took all the pain away. Two hours later the nurse comes to check me and it's showtime. I didn't feel anything but they had told me for months I was going to have a big baby. I only had to push for an hour but baby got stuck on my pelvic bone and ended up with shoulder dystocia and a fractured clavicle. And I ended up with second degree tears. After delivery I tried so hard to breast feed but due to her fractured clavicle there was no way to hold her to breast feed without hurting her. So I had to break down and ask for formula since my milk hadn't come in. Once out of the hospital I started pumping and then only used formula to supplement. I decided I was going to do everything to get her off the formula. I took my vitamins and supplements and ate healthy and drank a ton of water and by two weeks I was producing 5+ ounces in about 10 minutes of pumping. I was very happy and proud of myself until I got a cold. I read about medication and took mucinex nasal spray and tablets. Well it destroyed my supply. I was lucky to get .5 ounce after pumping for 30 minutes. So now my peanut is 4 weeks old and is exclusively formula fed. She's been to more doctors than I think I have ever been to in my life. Specialists for orthopedics for the fractured clavicle, physical therapy for the fractured clavicle, ENT to get her tongue clipped because she was tongue tied, obviously to the pediatrician, and next week we have to get an ultrasound on her kidneys because she had bilateral pylectasis in utero. 

But after all that has been said and done I have a beautiful healthy baby girl that has stolen my heart. And even though nothing went as I planned it, we made it we are healthy and I wouldn't trade it for anything. 

Lesson learned: Just because things don't go the way you plan doesn't mean you failed or that you're a bad momma. As long as you are making healthy decisions for your little one then you're a great momma! I had to keep telling myself that because I was beating myself up over not being able to breastfeed (and family really didn't help they all scorned me and condemned me for using formula) but I've come to terms with it and I'm happy with the outcome. Screw family and screw anyone who tells you that you're wrong and not doing XY&Z the right way.