the worst thing happened

before you keep reading it's a kinda tmi... 

earlier me & my boyfriend were playing w each other, if you know what i mean. & before we were about to have sex, i gave him head... he cumed & you know the deal.. so after we took a break & everytime we have to wait because he cums too fast & it takes a while for him to get hard again.. i'm okay w this, it's normal, that's my baby i can wait etc etc, but i'm sure a lot of us ladies have to deal w that & we might get a little "sad" or idk frustrated? 

anyways that happened & idk what was wrong w me i kind of just got tired of waiting like in general i guess (it's not like i just sit there i try to play w it too, just to let you know lol) i was just frustrated because it kind of killed the mood for me. this might sound mean or like i don't love him.. i do love him, but i just got kind of sad i guess you could say. 

also, before we were about to have sex.. HE ANSWERED THE PHONE CALL FROM HIS FRIENDS. to me, that is very disrespectful & i definitely feel like he puts them first all the time. (i have other reasons why i think this but it's irrelevant) 

so i told him when he was playing w himself that i wasn't feeling it anymore. i said "i wasn't feeling it anymore" ... i know i could've said it a different way but i didn't know how 😞

i just feel so sad now because i know i made him sad too & the look on his face... i really just killed everything. he means everything to me i feel terrible for doing this to him

he thinks i don't love him, or he can't give me what i give him, & he said we're only having sex if i say so, like he won't tell me anymore...

he thinks i wasn't horny & stuff but i was, i just got kind of frustrated & sad

how can i fix this, it's a little awkward now 😞