I Need Help How Would You Handle This Situation?

Question

He denied the baby was his when I first told him now I'm towards the end of my pregnancy an he decides he wants to be daddy an I have everyone in my ear telling me if I keep him away I'm doing more harm to my daughter then to him but it hurt to have woken up 6 am to take a pregnancy test to get the results an wait for him to wake up an tell him an to have him push me aside an say it wasn't his. How is keeping my daughter from someone who didn't want to love her from the start doing her harm or am I just to into my feelings about the situation?

Answer

He wants to love her now. Take it from me, having a parent who actually doesn't give a damn about you hurts a lot. If he wants to be in her life actively and wants to be a father, let him. It's better than growing up wondering what you did wrong.

Plus how the hell is she going to know he didn't want a baby when you first conceived unless you tell her? Point is he will be there for her from the start of her life and that's what she will know and have memories of.

Answer

My daughter's father didn't want her. Never denied her, just didn't want a baby. She's almost 4 months old and as much as I want him to stay away because he didn't want her, he's trying to be a father and that's all I can really ask for. I refuse to keep her away from her father because she needs to know him. We're not together and it's hard to keep my feelings out of it. I'm hurt and it would be so much easier to get over him if I had no contact with him. But it's not about me anymore. My daughter needs her daddy. I told him if he doesn't want to be in her life then he needs to decide now, while she's a baby and won't remember anything. If the father of your baby is willing to step up, I would give him the benefit of the doubt that he's going to be a father to your baby. I hope everything works out for you!

Answer

If he wants to be there let him. I dont have the best dad but im still super happy to have him in my life. Your baby deserves both mommy and daddy even if daddy is a bit of an asshole

Answer

You should request a blood test to clear the air, then move on.  People make stupid statements and crazy decisions when under pressure. He does not sound like the most mature guy, but communicate open and honestly with him and give him a chance to be a Dad. It will be on him to stand up without excuses.

Answer

The frustration is real and so so understandable, but the best thing you can do is let him be there but don't forget what happened. If you deny him access to his daughter, his abscence will be your fault. If you let him try and he fails, drops out six months after she's born, is unreliable and hurts her himself, it's his fault. And maybe he does eventually do a good job, and your daughter loves him and feels the love of two parents which is good for her development. You don't have to like him, you don't have to trust that he'll be there, you don't have to forget that he didn't want his child...you just have to let it play out because if you don't, you'll never make her believe you that he really wouldn't have been a good parent, because you never let him demonstrate that to her himself.

Answer

As someone who has suffered emotionally from having an absent/ unreliable father,  I would say that if he wants to be an active part of her life then let him. Children should be raised by both parents where possible and you will appreciate the help. I would give anything for a father who genuinely loved me and wanted to be a part of my life all the time. Not just when it suited him. However, if once he is involved in her life, he becomes consistently absent or unreliable then let him know that he needs to buck up or let you guys get on with your lives without him. Good luck and i pray God will give you wisdom in this situation x

I Need Help How Would You Handle This Situation?

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