Help me

So I had been with my bf for nearly four years. We had a great relationship but when we went to uni last year we ended up separating and it absolutely crushed me. I felt like I was literally dying (sorry for being dramatic) now while I say that our relationship was great, it was, but as I am a grass is always greener on the other side person, l was always wondering about what else especially since we had been together since I was 15. But when he left me I knew all that was nothing but speculation because of how I felt when he left me. Now fast forward a year we were back together and things started to go wrong. We split and although I was heart broken I didn't feel the way I had previously. After a month a felt better, more mature and that I could successfully move on with my life, and that ultimately being without him was good for my overall personal development. And then we got drunk an slept together an it got all Confusing. And I just don't know what to do am I as in love with him as I thought and should get back with him or get on with my life as I was doing. I can't help but think it was good for me but I love spending time with him in every way even when we are doing uni work together. Help because I'm so confused. Sorry for the long post BTW