We Haven't Had Sex For Months (Long Story)

And we were blessed with out BFP. 

September 6 was the last time we had sex. We did traveling and I was exhausted with pregnancy. 

Then, my husband's health took a VERY sudden downturn in October. He'd been struggling with high blood pressure. But suddenly he was violently ill. We ended up in a ER. Three surgeries scheduled. I held my husband in my arms in a hospital room as he lost consciousness and the nursers couldn't help. I watched helpless as he was so so sick. Losing his fight as his body shut down. I was scared. He could barely speak. The first surgery didn't work. His body, his kidney, was shutting down. 

They rushed him into emergency surgery and I watched as he couldn't keep conscious even as they prepped him. His last words with tears running down his face was "they have to help me."  I promised they would. Praying this surgery would help. My strong incredible husband was breaking. 

An hour later, the doctor came out and said that he was gonna be fine. The situation was bad, but they removed the obstruction. He was up talking, walking, and eating within hours of the surgery. 

The two surgeries my husband had they went in from his penis. So needless to say the recovery was long. 

I decided that when he felt comfortable enough and healthy enough to be intimate again, he would initiate. I'm so thankful he's had three follow up appointments. His Blood pressure is back to normal. His health is back on track. I'm so thankful. 

But I've been a puke factory. And by the time he gets home from work, I'm exhausted and sometimes still puking. He's kissed me and his breath or even the warmth of it sends me reeling. 

I shaved my legs. Brushed my teeth. Took some meds to keep the nausea at bay. But I'm nervous. I'm so fat. Between being overweight and this baby. I know we need to come together. It's been so long. This whole year has been crazy. We are drowning in medical debt. And it's Christmas time. I just want to be with my husband again. 

I hope he feels able. I think we will both feel better to be close physically again.