just sharing my frustration

Okay so I don't have many friends and honestly i prefer it that way but, I don't feel like I can vent to the ones that I do have so if you want to be my "eve friend" and read this long saga of a story thanks in advance 😊. I've been single since January and to say that it was a hard break up would be an understatement. It took me a while to get over it, there was even a point when I thought that I never would but thanks to a lot of prayer and soul searching and taking a few months to get back to myself, I am and I'm more than ready to get back out there. But here's the thing, it's completely not working out😑. So this is how it goes: a guy approaches me and we'll get to know each other and it goes really good for a while and he'll tell me how he wants something real with me and how much he likes me blah blah blah but then the guy completely switches up on me out of nowhere and makes it seem like I should chase him and beg for his attention when he's the one who approached me in the 1st place!.. I don't think so, if it's not given freely I definitely won't beg you for your time so on to the next. But, here's the thing, I CANT GET OUT OF THIS CYCLE OF A GUY SWITCHING UP AND FALLING OFF!! So of course I do the most common girl thing and get completely in my feelings and question myself trying to figure out what I did to make the guy act this way towards me and yada yada ya. But then there's this one guy (ugh I hate that phrase 🙄) he's a sweetheart and I've known him my whole life and when I say whole life I mean like my mom cut his umbilical cord and his mom cut mine lol so literally whole life. We "dated" when we were six which consisted of holding hands and smiling at each other and he proposed to me with my moms earring as a ring (hmm so does that mean I can say I've been engaged before 🤔) lol. When we were sixteen we spent the whole summer together day and night we even did drivers training together (needless to say I'm the better driver😉) We never actually dated within that time even though I think he wanted to but my mind was elsewhere focused on another guy who's gay now by the way😑 and plus he was already dating someone and when they broke up he never said anything as far as he and I being together so I didn't either😕 but there has always been an attraction. but then he and his mom moved 2,000 miles away and that was that. (If you're still reading at this point you're an awesome sport but here's a little light to the story) More recently we've been kinda sorta in contact through social media ( Facebook, Instagram and snap chat) and he's single. He likes every single picture I post and he even made me his wcw lol. Two months back I had snapchatted that I would be visiting the state that he lives in and he told me that we should link up while I'm there but I won't be going there until New Years weekend. So a few days I gave him my number because he told me he was coming home for Christmas (which I already knew because because I saw his mom when she came home for thanksgiving and she told me (lol that's not weird at all😬) and she also told me that they both plan to move back here next year. (You're an amazing person if you're still reading at this point because this shit is long) But back to the gravy, we're making plans to see each other when he's here. Now here's the "womp womp womp" part of this never ending saga, I texted him and he didn't seem interested but he didn't seem uninterested either idk kinda like he was responding with full sentences and not just "lol" but after the topic ran out, that was it, he didn't try to keep the conversation going, know what I mean? Needless to say I haven't texted him since and he hasn't text me either😕. Not only that but yesterday he snapchatted himself with some girl and he snapchatted with her last weekend and they looked very "friendly" which is ya know.. none of my business but still🙄... I just feel so down and like my losing streak won't come to an end and I just really wanted to talk about it. I'm a relationship type girl, and I don't have sex outside of one so if I'm not in a relationship I'm celibate... and I haven't had any action at all since December 1st... 2015!!! So I'm sure you can imagine my frustration and solo play becomes kinda redundant when you want physical contact and stimulation and intimacy from a man. But I'd rather wait for the guy who loves and appreciate me than to be with some random dude.. but nonetheless I'm frustrated in every aspect of my life.. well thanks for reading if you've gotten this far, it's the end of story time feel free to share your similar experiences and how you handled them. Til next time my eve friends 💋