Need to Rant

1 year without you as my best friend, has been thee hardest. i've tried replacing you, finding someone else to fill that spot in my heart and my body. till this day no one has been able to. we were best friends; more like sisters for 11 years.. you were the person i ran to if i had problems. you were there for me through the. real ups, all the tears, and vise versa.we played on the same softball team(s), wouldn't play without each other. we were the two girls who gossiped and laughter at others. who would stick up for each other. we made so many memeories. going down the hill on a golf cart. me being the only person your grandparents, let drive that golf cart other than you. you were going to be my maid of honor, my kids god mother. that was her. then you decided to play golf, no big deal. you met someone else. we slowly drifted apart, and we became friends. she was your new best friend. we no longer spoke or anything. i cried my self to sleep 2-3 times a week. seeing you in school with her. i was jealous. she took MY BEST FRIEND. months went by, no contact. then one night we got into this huge fight. and a week or two later. i found out you were in a relationship with your best friend. who was a girl.  we were best friends for 11 years, and i had no idea. she had boyfriends. i found out by an instagram post. i cried that night. we barley talk to this day. chit chat here and there. and today we talked quiet a bit. i missed you Aud. but i know that no matter how hard i try, we will never be best friends again. we spent EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND TOGETHER. we on vacations together. we knew everyone in each other's family, we did EVERYTHING together.