devastated

My s/o of almost four years has decided that he wants to wait until we are more stable to get married and have babies.Since we've been together his job has never been stable( oil industry).he doesn't want to actively prevent pregnancy,just leave up to if It's meant to be.I am completely devastated about waiting for a baby.My whole life I have know I was meant to be a mom.At this rate it will be 4 years before we have the house he wants to be married and pregnant.I am just depressed.Ive spent a year losing a ton  of weight to be healthy for us to be pregnant.My heart just hurts