Christmas isn't so Christmas right now

I'm starting to get really sad and emotional about not having a BFP this Christmas. It sucks im so frustrated and just wish I'd get a BFP and call it a day. I see so many women who have been ttc way longer than me and I don't even know how they go years ttc and it still hasn't happened it's barley been 5 months for me and I'm ready to give up! 😔 but it's weird cause a part of me is just saying wait to test again on the 28th and it's like part of me thinks I'm gonna get a BFP but in reality I'm not. Smh I guess that's the hope in me. 😔 #todaysucks