Not a rant.. Just wanted to talk

My boyfriend and i are about to hit the one year mark and I I've never felt peace like this. Nothing about us has felt rush or forced. From the moment we laid eyes on each other we just clicked, and that scared the hell out of me. When I was 13 I lost one of the most important people in my life, my brother. I lost a part of myself that honestly I will never get back, and I have accepted that. Yet he is the first person to make me not live in pain and enjoy life, and the weird part is that he doesn't even know what he's doing for me. He knows I lost my brother but he doesn't know the effect it had on me. Its not something I share too often... So obviously I won't get into that.

But I feel so alive now, like I have a purpose again. He makes me want to accomplish goals and explore the life I have ahead of me. I honestly love life again, I love life with him. I love how he looks at me, and holds me, and tells me about his fears and goals, I love the nervousness in him when he mets new people for the first time, I love how he holds my hand in the car, and turns the radio up when my favorite songs comes on and even sings along, and how he turns the radio off when he wants to hear my voice, and when he kisses me... Every time.. It's like ... An explosion goes off inside me, I love how he cares about my mom(he stopped smoking cigarettes just because she has asthma really bad), I love how excited he gets about seeing my grandmother.. I love hearing his future plans especially because everyone of them includes me. I really don't have a reason for writing any of this.. I guess I just needed to see why I love him to remind why I miss him so much when he's not here...