Is he scared?/:..

So next week im leaving to go see my boyfriend for the first time. And last night he told me he wasnt ready to see me and part of him didnt want to see me.. we've been arguing a lot lately but he knows ive been wanting to see him and he said the same for 4 years straight. I kept asking him recently like last week and the week before if he was ready to see me and he said he was. Is it because he's nervous? Hes very loyal so i know it cant be cheating.. im so hurt and mad. He wont give me an explanation to why he suddenly feels like this. I told him that when we see eachother that we can talk about it i just feel like hes nervous and thinks i wont like him or something because i do, i love him. Im just scared he'll break up with me or not show up</3 anyone have advice? That would be great, thanks /: .