How do I tell my friends that have been trying to conceive years before me I'm expecting?

Question

I don't how to tell two close friends of mine that have been trying to get pregnant before me. I got married in September and got pregnant a month after trying. I  feel guilty. I feel like I'm going to hurt their feelings. Any suggestions?

Answer

Honestly, if these women are your true friends, they'll be happy for you. Not to say they won't be sad for themselves but their fertility has nothing to do with yours. My best friend was in your position. She'd gotten pregnant after a month of TTC. She sent me a long text explaining how she wasn't trying to "one up" me or get pregnant before me. I felt bad that she felt bad! Resentment never even crossed my mind. Babies are miracles and I wanted to know everything that was going on with her pregnancy. I felt nothing but love for her and her baby. I was sad that my husband and I were struggling, but no malice was ever directed at my friend. Now, 14 months later, she's celebrating me and my pregnancy, and I get to meet her 4 month old daughter for the first time (she and her husband moved to Cali 3 years ago) on Christmas Day. I can't wait.

Answer

Take them aside and let them know before you tell other people or post it on Facebook depending on how you'll be announcing to "the world".

Answer

My friend and her husband have been trying for some time now and first cycle I got pregnant (also got pregnant first month with my son) and she was the first person I sent the test to. She said she's very happy for me but she wished it were as easy for her.. if they are truly your friend than they will be happy for you :)

Answer

I'm in the same boat, just got married and weren't even trying! Our close friends have been trying for 5 years, everything I've read  says they will be happy for you but sad for them so a text message is a good way to announce it. It seemed impersonal to me but allowing them a chance privacy to process their emotions honestly alone before they see you. That is what my plan is anyways, I'm 6w and I'm going to tell them before I announce publicly.

Answer

My best friend has been trying to get pregnant for 18 months now and I got pregnant the first month I stopped using protection.  I told her last week I was pregnant and she was super happy for me and just keeps hoping she's next so our babies can grow up together. The only comment she has made was that I was "so annoying for getting pregnant without trying when she's been trying for so long" but she did it jokingly and I know she's sincerely happy. Ultimately I think she's genuinely happy for me because she knows it can be a struggle and she doesn't seem to begrudge me at all (although she said he husband was going to be very jealous of mine). I think you just share the news and make it about you being pregnant rather than then not being able to concieve (i.e. Don't be "sorry" or hesitant to spare them, I think that's worse)

Answer

I have been on both sides of this. You can also think about letting them know by text or email so they don't have to muster an immediate happy reaction-they will no doubt get there but they may need a beat first and letting them know remotely lets them take it

Answer

If they are true friends, they will be genuinely happy for u. If you don't think they will be happy for you, don't tell them until after first trimester, because that negativity can affect you and your baby.

Answer

I would just let them know privately and if they are really ur friends they will be happy for u. U are kind and caring to think of their feelings first. Hopefully they will see that u took the time to let them know before anyone else cuz u value them as a friend.

Answer

Sucks that you even have to think about it that way. I would just make sure to tell them before going public. And they should be excited for you.

How do I tell my friends that have been trying to conceive years before me I'm expecting?

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