Should only family be present when someone is dying?

Question

My grandmother has been in hospice care because she has lost her 10 year battle with cancer. She is in a coma and will probably die within the next few hours. My grandfather decided to invite several church friends over (women my grandma use to say were ridiculous and annoying). My mom is annoyed because she wanted to spend my grandma's last few hours together with only her. The woman from the church hasn't left after over an hour and her daughter who was her ride left her here. She keeps singing and praying, and my mom and I were laughing that if my grandma could talk she'd be like please shut the fuck up. (My grandma was hilarious and pretty savage.) Anyway I'm with my mom I think that the last few hours of someone's life should be family only.

Answer

Personally, I'd want just the family there but if your grandpa is insistent on having church support, he should have invited them over for no longer than 30 mins imo. That's just enough for a prayer. The church ladies should know they're overstepping too and leave.

Answer

It should be chosen by the person themselves

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I think it should be close friends as well. If I were dying, I'd want my best friend and my brothers best friend there too.

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I think the final hours should be family and close friends. They shouldn't be bothered. We had a friend that was passing away and we were able to visit before they pulled her plug, but in her final hours it was only family and friends that were like family. I think that's how it should be.

Answer

I wouldn't mind the church people stopping by, but they need to be respectful and let the family have the last few hours. Your PA may want them there for support though. You have to remember, he is losing the love of his life.

Answer

Honestly if they are being rude an inappropriate I'd be rude and blunt and tell them where to go. This is YOUR time with your grandma, not nosey church friends. Things like this piss me off, we had similar when it was my grandad 🙁 hope you are all okay xx

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I would thank them for coming and they should get the hint its time to go

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They should have visited a week ago... I think the countdown hours should be for family and true friends.

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I don't think it needs to be only family. Other than my mom I'd want people there that I chose to have in my life over actual family. After my best friend died suddenly I was excluded from everything because I wasn't family even though I was much closer to her than them. It was terribly hurtful.

This particular sounds annoying as hell though. I'd go up to the nurses station and see if someone could step in and tactfully ask her to go.

Answer

Our family is very close with our church. We have no extended family that's local, and when my dad left, many of the men stepped up for us 3 kids. So I think it depends on the actual relationship you have with whoever is being invited to be present. Also, death is not just about the dying. Your grandpa needs to be showed to process her death in a way that's comforting to him, and as your grandma's spouse, he gets decision-making power in her last moments, no matter how much others may not like it. 😕 I'm so sorry for your impending loss, and I hope you are able to have a few nice moments with your grandmother regardless of who's around. Best wishes.

Should only family be present when someone is dying?

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