Not enjoying sex

So I know it bad but I don't honestly really enjoy sex. I know I should but I don't. I don't have a sex drive. Also it hurts most of the time even when we use lube. It feels like there are a million little tears down there and when we are done it feels like my pelvic bone is bruised. No we are not crazy and go hard and fast (the whole time). Also my SO has not given me an O in a long time... :( am I broken? I am on the same BC I have been on for years. I am also on some anti depressants but I have been told they are not the problem... I dot have a very good body image perspective. I don't feel pretty most days I have a loose flabby stomic with stretch marks. I'm working on feeling good about my self but it's very hard for me. Does anyone have any ideas?? How can I get my sex drive back?