My first pregnancy was unplanned and pretty easy, she showed up a few days early, 9 lbs big, with a head full of hair! After a few years I finally got my SO to try for another and got pregnant immediately! I told everyone in my family, all of social media, started buying gender neutral stuff, told my at the time 4 year old, and then woke up to spotting one morning close to 11 weeks. The following week was one of the most physically and emotionally draining of my life. It changed me, I became an angry person, I started to question things I always had faith in. Two years went by without me noticing the resentment I held, how I avoided photos or conversations about pregnancy or babies. I watched my daughter turn five and started to give up on ever having a bigger family than the three of us. But recently, just two weeks before my daughters 6th birthday I missed my menstrual cycle. Weird...took five tests at home and one at the dr and I'm definitely pregnant!