I need assistance fellow ladies

Okay. So I was thinking. Boob is too silly, tit is too vulgar, breast is too pretentious. Same idea for penis(dong, dick) & vagina (pussy, etc.) (I was talking about this with my boyfriend)

So my question is: Is there a name for the sexy bits that isn't hilarious or ridiculous? If you guys can think of a name that would be swell.