Manual Stimulation

Hey ladies! So... I have a question. My main thing is grinding when it comes to pleasuring myself. The guy that I'm seeing tried fingering me... but it felt really bad. It wasnt his fault but it kind more hurt and was too rough than anything. I even tried telling him to go a little softer but that didnt do anything either. I have no idea what feels good for me down there when it comes to that because I've never gotten off by it by myself except when it's through pants...